Written for the Zingsol on January 2017
A very close friend of mine, but a senior to me had convinced me how to maintain a daily records what we usually called Diary. Even though I was motivated to maintain such a personal diary, on the occasion of New Year’s Eve preachings, so on and so forth based on a biblical testimonial of Psalms 90:12. It was early in the year 2000s, I saw him holding a small book in his hand. It meant so much to me by seeing it, and I think, it will be really nice to write something, like the moment of glory or the saddest part of life and record them there would be great. Therefore, I was captivated. Since, my childhood, I love books, reading is such a pleasure, because there are lots of ideas, wisdom that one can derive from book. The author whispered in my ear while going through the text. It really is a good friend to have. An innocent child, who from a far-flung distant land was absorbed in exuberance. The mind of the countryside boy was cajoled by this immense sight, I guess, it is of new insights. Its metamorphism enthralled me. And hence, I long to get one in no long time. To be honest, it is all from within.
Now, it was a new season, the year tide fall, of course, the course of live has to be readjusted and rescheduled. Season change brought changes. The festive season sprung up and hurriedly gone. Since I, from a countryside, got to go a knight errant to the nearest town to get necessities of several needs. Instinctively, this is the time, an innately construct every kid in a village are eagerly waiting for, I was always most alert to go to town. May be because I am going to see a heaven of new sights, filled with great things and be thrilled by the artifacts, automobiles, its bountiful beauties, etc. Who will not want to be under the other skies? Not all, but to me, we are a traveller, go anywhere. This world is made for us. ‘No man are foreigner’, claimed Jame Kirkup. My parents use to take me once or twice a year. It was indeed, my wish to know and observe how the world around me has been featured and shaped. It is nothing but, curiosity. I bought the book as well. Childhood life was an immense gladness and gratification of innocent desire in one way or another way. People say that gratifying childhood desires as an opening door to float in the skies. Not all though!
What should I write in this book now?
Days, Years, Seasons of all passes by. Men of all type walked by. The childhood memories remain spell bounded and haunted me thru dreams to those good and wild days, though they are, now imagery and kind of illusion, like echo coming a deep occean floors to a mountain tips. They are so profound and pathetic, but, they are gone not to come back anymore. These are real good days to be lived –.
They are the best time and now it is a screen of theatres that impelled back and forth one by one. This nostalgic feeling has chilled the mind. Mi Infancia. Te Echo de Menos
The tangerine evening sun ray amidst
The bamboo leaves, till its graphity looks
Peeped through my window, now peeps my heart.
The beating and gnashing of rain drops from above.
To the mango leaves now dips my heart.
My parental garden- my innate woods, leaves tapped
When drop of rain drops dropped in to it,
Next to my bed now taps my mind.
The sound of this musics lingers
Longer in my heart.
A sweet memory – a sweet lull
Now, alike the high seas and vast space.
Slumber the boy in the bough beside the meadow
Awake when the bell rang.
The wild clouds and gusty winds, of
The north Monsoon wind, – gared the school kids.
Scarced our heart. Terrified. Our parents were on their
Way home in the midst of the tempest.
We sang, Rain rain go away, come again another day!
Beneath the banana leaves pale and sad -waiting.
The records now has profusely changed and diverged from time to time.
A SCENT
It was tommorrow that I will be another man, since the day gonna be my graduation day. A very loud voice came from somewhere, summoning, “Students, quickly gather in the Q room, we are going to have a trial for tommorrow’s ceremony”. We did so and the reharsal were over.I went home and on my way, I did go to grocery shop as well. Once I was in my room, I’d eagerly rechecked my suits, whether everything’s alright. I wore the suits, and hideously thought, “Did they really fits me well?” So, I looked around. “Yes, it is good and fair enough” …an instinctual happiness, where you get free. Now, he mirrored, I saw somebody smiled at me, and he said,”Beautiful?” Yea, handsome! Is that you? I said, “It’s you” Wow! It was a great moment of complacency. Contentment is a great joy. Hillarious!
The next day day. The Sun has risen. I woke up and the feeling was great with enthusiasm. I was apprehended and thrilled by the moments which will be happening shortly. I dressed up and when the time was ripen I go ahead. I was in the campus earlier than another day. Minutes after minutes friends of the same mind arrived. We photographed as much as we could, remembering that we will be parting and striving our own ways and there is no more time to be togethered. Also, it was the last moment.A summoner came again, saying, “It is time to get inside the hall” We complied, “Silence, Pindrop silence, No murmuring, No talking.” Yes we were.
The ceremony started after all, I was startled by a smell of stinky rotten smell alike. Gently and thouroughly, I turned and looked around. My fellow mates sat still and quiet in listening. They were submerged and absorbed to the exhortation speeches of different distinguish guests. They are so attentive. I guess, they intook syringes of advice and inhaled the path of the heart’s destiny. Why not me? I tried to calm myself down and thus repositioned how I sat. Relaxed, but, it was for a moment.The odour impedes my nasal membrane deeper further. It eroded stronger and gain momentum. I was sucked and sacked, struck and stuck by the virulent strains. I silently reiterated around and to myself as well, since I felt fishy over the smelly scent, which implied something is not alright. Slowly, I sniffed around twice or thrice carefully.Did I regularly eat spicy food, a masalaed food of an alluvial product? Where the hell the smell came from? Why should I be so sensitive? Where no on pays heed. This wild speculation never goes to me. Oh, here it goes in my bag. The bag that I embraced around me smell the worst. I opened it and see what’s there inside. There was a watery like substance of rotten marshroom. Oh, what a guilt! Oh no, don’t blind me! I realized that I bought a packed of delicious marshroom in a grocery shop and also realized that he had forgotten to take it out and eat it. I, now, felt alienated by the extreme scent. There is no place to hide, either, nowhere to keep away. What a difficult time to hide something that is real! By the way, no friends knows and care neither, or may be they are hiding the fact of the mighty scent, or else, because, none bothered about it. Why am I so sensitive? I am not sure.
It is hard to pick something worthy even though the speeches were extensively delivered by great personel since all the attention were drawn by something foster. The strains forayed till the end of the ceremony. There was nothing else to do than faking in this midst. However, pretending is the worst thing to be practiced in this short span of life. I learnt that Honesty never let one lose one face.
The day gone wild. Believe it or not, this scent still fresh in my mind, not in my nose though.
A BOTTLE OF WATER
Secondly, it was on the 27th of July that I’d headed an incridible remarks while I was working somewhere in downtown. It was not my choice, nor my wish neither my plan. The road took me there. The road that one took is not always easy or smooth, but also rough one, which can give an overwhelming sudden touch of gritty texture. It’s life, I cannot always get what I want. My mom wants me to be safe and sound all the time, yes. But, the road that I took require hard-earned as well as hard-fisted. Since the easy childhood ways are gone. So, One day, I missed my cab. After all I have no more options to comply other than the plying buses around. So I did. After moving for a while, we came across a huge and terrific traffic jammed. Many vehicles inculding ours stranded here and there. People murmured and screamed. Oh, how awful it was! There is no fresh air to breathe especially to fill our lung, instead, the monsoon wind brought us an unwanted odour smell like a rotten mustards leaves, an outdated and aged urine smell under the hot sun, where there are lots of noise crinkling, creaking, quacking and honking sounds. I wished there was a rain to wipe up all these exertive agent. The bus moved ofcourse, it was but, a big BUT.
That day was really hot and sunny. I was exhausting, sooner or later felt like a soon faded grasses under the sun or of a furnace, since the summer wind brought the same stink back and forth. I was so restless and yawned upon my knees. Tired. I need some water. I am starving. Starving of water. THIRSTY. My throat dried up. What can I do to ease myself? I opened my bag. There was nothing but a lunch box, but I want water. What should I do other than begging around? There is no option choice. No begging if not dying. My innate instinct do not allowed me to do so. The sprit/will is strong; but the flesh is weak. This is true. My mere pretence do not let me go any further but it let me in deeper and worse. So, I asked around with full hesitation, even though none knows me and vice versa. I am craving and yearning of thirst, a knitted thirst. I am not able to write down how much thirsty were I. If there is a graphic or meter representation, it would be better to emulate. Thirsty means “starving of water” to me at that moment.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get one, not even a sip. So, what should I do now to get some water? Nothing! I sat down quietly. I felt like I am going down. Giddiness, no more energy, strength and will. I lay down or better to say hang down. My stomach was burping, creeping and felt like something crawling inside.In no time my legs were just like nothing but heavy.They lost their senses-numb, they are asleep tight, tight like a knot tightly knot. His mind was like pierced. No think tank. His ears were deaf, not by choice. His eyes were tired too. They don’t see thing normal anymore. Oh, how important vision is! But I learnt how awful is not to see. The vehicle was like a circum-spherical surface, moving left to right encircling me. He was down! Down! Down! Desperation! Struggling for live. Helpless. I vehemently tried atleast no to lose my conciousness by scretching my hand outside the window to get some fresh air. Now. “Lord, Please save me from this saveage starvation of thirst. In Jesue name, Amen.
He was asleep, tirelessly breathing a mouthful of air in and out tediously. I don’t know, what is happening. The whole body was cramped, especially my stomach. The muscle contraction inside the stomach was really painful. It was gruesome.
Now, after all hopes gone, while I have to meet my own consequences, someone, who may be a silent observer tapped me on my shoulder. ” Pani. Pani pi aw”, (water, please drink it) he said. I slowly raise my hand and grabbed it, then poured it onto my neck, forehead and face. Ofcourse, I drank! I puked alot. Oh, how nice this man was! After a while I feel alive like a heavenly touch. No other words than thanks. If not what will I be. Que sera sera.
Now, gaining little energy. Who has given me the water? I am so happy. There is no words to express my happiness. “Thank you so much, brother” I said to him since he stand beside me. “It’s OK, Go and say thanks to him” he pointed somebody else. ‘Thank you for the bottle of water to renew my nerve, Sir, I really appreciate it, because it’s about life. May God bless you!’. He replied, “Son, Carry on your work”. What a nice gesture, a moment of truth and humility. As I went and thanked him, my stop awaits. I went off the bus.I went to my boss directly and tell him about it. He sent me to take rest in a bed. I boarded. I slept and in no time it was hour and hours.
On one nice time with my family, I told the incident to them.You almost lost me. They reacted, Oh, how sad! Why don’t you tell us on time? There’s nothing to do even if I am able to tell them on time, because, it was so random and incidental. Hereafter, my sisters usually put a bottle of water in the side of my bag eversince. Where there is love, there is live. It’s true.
